March 24, 2026
I once had a boss who was great at selling up. He was building a successful career on the corporate ladder.
He had vision, energy, and a growth story that sounded incredible in presentations. The numbers were ambitious. The plan, thin. But the narrative was good, and upward it worked.
Downward, it was a different story.
The offsite meeting
At a moment when tension in the team was high, the company organized an offsite meeting. One of those sessions where the space is supposed to be safe, where people can speak honestly.
At one point, the leader asked if we were all aligned with the growth plan.
Silence.
Most of us looked at each other without saying a word. For weeks we had been asking ourselves the same question quietly: how are we actually supposed to pull this off? Nobody had an answer. Not us — and we believed not him, though nobody said it out loud.
Then one of his closest followers found the courage to speak. Someone who admired him, who genuinely wanted the plan to work. And respectfully, he said he wasn’t sure he understood how they were going to get there.
The leader didn’t take it well. He said that everyone’s commitment was the key. And then he added something I never forgot: that if anyone didn’t believe in the plan, maybe they should look for another company.
End of conversation.
What happened after the meeting
Later, we found out the leader had pulled aside the person who spoke and asked him how he could do that. How he could expose him in front of everyone.
This wasn’t a strategy problem. It was a leadership problem. The offsite meeting wasn’t a safe space, it was an audience. The question about alignment wasn’t an invitation to honesty, it was a search for validation.
What I learned
- Psychological safety is not a luxury or an HR trend. It’s the minimum condition for a team to function. Without it, people don’t speak. And when people don’t speak, problems stay invisible — until it’s too late.
- I learned that there’s a huge difference between selling up and leading down. A good leader needs to do both. If you only do one, you’re building an illusion.
- I learned that threatening the person who gives you feedback isn’t strength — it’s the clearest sign that the leader is afraid.
- I learned that real feedback is the best gift you can receive. Because it’s what can save you from making a massive mistake you can’t see yourself.
| And I learned that when nobody contradicts you, it’s not because you’re right. It’s because they learned that contradicting you has a cost.
The ending
The organization changed. The leader moved on. The plan never happened, priorities shifted and it faded into the background, like plans usually do when they never had a real foundation.
But I kept the lesson.
The not-so-great leaders I had taught me more than many of the good ones. This one taught me exactly what not to do — and that, over time, is worth a lot.
Today I work with leaders to become their best version at Power Inside Out. And every time I coach someone on how to receive feedback, on how to build teams where people actually speak up, I remember that silence in the offsite meeting.
That silence that said everything.
Have you ever experienced that silence when you asked a question?
How did you handle it?
